Your Parents Bought a House at 23… We’re Just Trying to Buy Groceries

Kai Mercer

Hey everyone, welcome back to Unpack with Dr. Julie. I’m Kai Mercer, and I’m sitting here with Dr. Julie Sorenson, who I’m pretty sure doesn’t need an intro, but I give her one anyway—how’s it going, Julie?

Dr. Julie Sorenson

Doing great, Kai! And honestly, I kind of look forward to your intros at this point—they keep me humble. But seriously, I’m excited to dig into today’s episode because we’re tackling a topic that so many people have been wrestling with: financial stability, or, I guess, rethinking what that even means these days.

Kai Mercer

Yeah, okay, so—where do we even start? I mean, last episode we spent a lot of time talking about what it means to choose yourself in 2026. But this? This is about how it feels impossible to even do the “basic” things our parents did. Like, my dad bought a house at 24 and I’m over here, like... is it ramen week or can I spring for avocados?

Dr. Julie Sorenson

Honestly, Kai, you’re not alone. The numbers don’t lie—housing costs, student loans, inflation, everything is just way up from even a decade ago. The U.S. Census Bureau and Treasury data from last year, and into 2025, show that wages just aren’t keeping up. It’s not about people making bad decisions; it’s the economy shifting under our feet.

Kai Mercer

Exactly! And all this talk about how “you should be able to buy a house by 23” just doesn’t fit with reality. I saw a Newsweek survey from this year—2025—that said most young adults, and honestly a lot of folks starting over post-divorce, are renting by choice or necessity. It’s not even seen as this big failure anymore. It’s just... how it is.

Dr. Julie Sorenson

I have talked to people who felt so beaten down by delaying home ownership. They plan, saved, did everything “right,” but every year it slipped further away. The turning point? Realizing that renting was actually giving her space to breathe and some flexibility. And started to see building financial stability as more than just ticking boxes. That’s empowerment, not defeat—and that’s where so many are landing right now.

Kai Mercer

I love that. And, hey, it’s shifting the definition of what “adulthood” means. There’s no one-size-fits-all marker anymore.

Kai Mercer

So then—let’s get real about what people are actually doing to stay afloat, because “making it” is a whole different game in 2025. I mean, are you even an adult if you don’t have a budgeting app and at least one side hustle? (I’m kidding, I think? Maybe not...)

Dr. Julie Sorenson

I know! It’s wild—intentional budgeting has gone from, you know, your grandma’s coupon clipping to this strategic, empowering thing. People are tracking every dollar, cutting out the mindless Amazon scroll, and just planning essentials before anything else. What I’m seeing, clinically and personally, is that even these small acts of control over finances can really relieve anxiety. It’s about finding your baseline so survival doesn’t feel like this daily panic.

Kai Mercer

Yeah, and the whole “hustle harder!” movement... I mean, side gigs are a solid way to patch the gaps, but if you’re working three jobs just to break even, that’s a recipe for—well, I guess for the burnout episode we did last week.

Dr. Julie Sorenson

Yep, and it’s so important to remember that all these income streams? They’re a tool, but not the goal. I knew someone who’d just finalized a divorce, tons of legal expenses, new apartment, you name it. Brick by brick rebuilding an emergency fund, basically $25 at a time—no joke. And what mattered wasn’t the amount, but actively regaining stability during really shaky ground.

Kai Mercer

That’s so real. And honestly makes the “start small” advice feel less cliché. My own budget is basically: keep rent paid, minimize takeout, and if I save more than $20 in a week, I treat myself to—you know, probably coffee I could’ve made at home, but small wins, right?

Dr. Julie Sorenson

Absolutely! And making those swaps—it’s not deprivation, it’s creating choices. Instead of spiraling about what you “should” have by now, it’s about what brings peace this year. Even a tiny emergency nest egg can change how safe you feel walking through tough chapters.

Kai Mercer

Yeah, and I think if we’re honest, most people aren’t aiming for “wealth”—they’re just trying to get to a solid, stable okay.

Kai Mercer

Alright, so, can we talk about the shame thing? Because it’s everywhere. You’re broke? Must be your fault. Back living with family? Guess you didn’t try hard enough. Like, that narrative’s still floating around even though the world’s completely changed since our parents’ day.

Dr. Julie Sorenson

I completely agree, Kai. Honestly, we’ve got to move the conversation from “why aren’t you doing better?” to “what’s changed in the system and how do we respond as a community?” Look, housing prices, college, groceries, utilities—none of these have followed the same path as median incomes over the last, what, 20-40 years? It’s a mismatch! And shaming individuals for not buying a house or not “making it” just piles on unnecessary stress.

Kai Mercer

So true. The older generation probably doesn’t see the hidden stuff—interest rates, childcare, student loans, all that piling up. What’s the move here? How do we build empathy, not just make excuses?

Dr. Julie Sorenson

Once we broke down the actual numbers, everyone’s defenses dropped. It was powerful. When people step into each other’s worlds, there’s less blame and a lot more compassion. Empathy comes from context—not just sympathy, but a real look at what’s changed.

Kai Mercer

Yeah, we need to get honest about the new landscape instead of lecturing—maybe we’d see more support for things like affordable housing or fair wages, instead of another round of “pull yourself up by your bootstraps.”

Dr. Julie Sorenson

I think so, too. It’s not saying ambition doesn’t matter, but ambition alone can’t solve systemic barriers. When older generations get curious, ask questions, and listen—suddenly, it’s not about blame. It’s about finding a road forward together. And that applies whether you’re 24 or restarting life at 45 after a divorce.

Kai Mercer

Yeah, so I guess the big takeaway is: stability isn’t about meeting some outdated checklist—it’s about tuning in to your reality, building peace where you can, and asking for help without shame. That’s thriving, at least for 2026 and beyond.

Dr. Julie Sorenson

Exactly. And hey, if you’re listening and feeling stuck—remember, you’re not alone, and there’s more than one path to “making it.” We’re rooting for you, and we’ll be right back here breaking it down, one new reality check at a time.

Kai Mercer

Alright, thanks for hanging with us—Julie, always a treat to pick your brain. We’ll see you all in the next episode! Don’t forget to subscribe, share with someone who needs it, and take care of yourselves out there.

Dr. Julie Sorenson

Thanks, Kai. Thanks, everyone, for listening. Remember, you have survived your most difficult days; keep moving forward. You got this!